Sausage Workshop

It seems everyone is a writer now. The Internet makes that easier for everybody. When people find out I'm a poet or a writer there are two reactions. The first one I expect: "Oh, I don't know how to write, it's so difficult." I launch into my pre-recorded speech about writing being like learning a second language and writing being a technology that humans invented and because we weren't born with it, we can learn to use it. That's usually met with a glazed over look. More and more however, they are very eager to admit they too, in fact, are a writer and wish to collaborate with me and do writer things. Writers love to get together and talk about characters and new ideas they have and line breaks and titles. There's nothing greater in the world to do than to network with another writer. We imagine ourselves on a deserted island, with nothing but water and sun for miles in every direction, and the second we spot a boat in the distance, we're hoping someone on it has a manuscript ready to talk about. It's like a big community that supports each other, because writers are moody and need lots of help. Except, it doesn't work. What happens instead is when all these writer friends get together, they delude themselves into thinking what they're writing is brilliant and all the ideas they have need to be pursued. This seems like a bad idea because it is. Take one of my friends I just met; I'll call him Steven. Steven fancies himself a good writer because all of the people he's come in contact with seem to like what he writes and can identify with it. They write comments on his blog saying, "This is so true, you're a genius," or "I could never write like you Steven. Keep up the good work." To the trained ear, this is the kiss of death. Because I've been writing and taking criticism for a dozen years doesn't make me an automatic authority on this, but I think I'm in a better place than this. What Steven doesn't realize is his friends have no idea what to say to it. Maybe they in fact did enjoy the piece, but they don't know why, and they don't know what was good about it. Worse, they can't point out the bad parts. To Steven, it reconfirms what he already knows, that he has talent as a writer, and people respond to his work. I can see passed this, however, because I know Steven is not producing quality work, and no one can ever tell him that. His friends don't get what quality work is supposed to look like, so all they see is Steven, and all they hear is his voice, which they like. I hate being the bearer of bad news. Steven doesn't know yet that I'm a writer, nor does he know I also write poetry and have a blog, and he must never know. Because when he finds out he's going to want to share work, and I'm going to have to say no. I'll make an excuse like my work isn't good enough for other people to read (writers eat that excuse up because we all think it's not good enough for other people to read, so when someone says it before us, we think we're better than them immediately) and he'll try to convince me otherwise. Then I'll be stuck reading his stuff (which I already have) and he'll read mine and not know what to say about it because he's not really good enough to give criticism on my pieces, but he'll beg me for reaction to his work where I'll be confronted with a couple of options: I can tell him where he went wrong and why it doesn't work and why it's more or less boring and can't connect with the reader (you see I've spent time with his work already) or I can get in line with all his other friends and tell him it was a very good read and I can't wait to read the next one. Meanwhile, writers should be very careful who they invite as friends. For every boat that passes, I just hope there's not a writer on board with a manuscript, because I'm going to have to read it. A good reader, an honest reader of your work is the most important tool one can have as a writer because he or she can save you from potential embarrassment. The honest reader is to be treasured, not flaunted. The honest reader should be the first one to read anything one writes, and it shouldn't just be shared with everyone until the time when it's been worked with and refined. When Steven shows me his work he's going to tell me to be honest about what I think, but that doesn't mean he wants an honest reader. He wants me to tell him what he wants to hear, he wants me to tell him anything but the truth. I have no problem being the honest reader because I like to work with other writers to help them correct what went wrong, and how they can correct it exactly. That's not what most writers look for. They instead want to post things on their blog and let people comment on how funny it is and rife with wisdom and hope. That's why writing is hard. Writers should be very acquainted with each other before they start handing out samples. This is not the supermarket where everyone gets a free taste of Jimmy Dean sausage. When I pass up their sausage, it's not because I don't like them, it's because I don't like sausage. The only critique I can give you is sausage is bad, but I won't say it. If everyone else likes it, I'm gonna shut my mouth.